A Plea to End Non-Buyers Remorse

To the individual who beat me out by a long shot on the shiny shiny East West Musical Instruments Company silver lamé jacket last month, aka eBay bidder “**vintagemylove”:

I need that jacket.

No. I’m sorry. Let’s start again.

Never in my life have I been afflicted with such a burning case of Non-Buyers Remorse. I am positively haunted.

Having frequented innumerable flea markets and encountered many various once-in-a-lifetime acquisition opportunities in my day, I am confident in telling you that I consider myself no stranger to the non-buyer’s ailment. I have seen plenty of worthy marketeers struck low with it upon realizing that an item they had spied, but then lacked the temerity and good fortune to purchase, now lay in my sweaty, gleeful paws and was headed straight for the rack at Gravel & Gold. You and I both know that in such situations, when one spyifies with an eagle eye an item that savors strongly of the thing that only fierce haggling, perhaps a bit of rope, a flat bed truck, some out-and-out dollar bills and the right of ownership can satisfy, one must bid to win.

Have mercy, I have never landed on this side of the coin! To have spied, and then failed to acquire, this most special shiny shiny jacket with the vine and heart cut-outs, the painted scenes of a lovely homestead and orchard, the minimal wear and tear, which maybe might be just my size and matches my new Mimi tote, is plain awful. After a flurry of futile attempts to find another, I can’t look at eBay any more. I can’t focus at the flea market. I can hardly dress myself—nothing in my closet compares. Dearest **vintagemylove, say you’ll shine a light on my dark non-buyer days and relist my beloved on eBay for a fraction of it’s selling price, with a Buy It Now option available only to me, shipping included, from a smoke-free home, and I swear to you I shall be ever in your debt.

Groveling,

Cass

Advertisements

3 Comments

Filed under Very Very Exciting

3 responses to “A Plea to End Non-Buyers Remorse

  1. Cool Blog! I will stop by more often!
    MysteryBid
    http://www.mysterybid.com/blog

  2. -Joe

    FSBO

    Pristine condition, original owner, low mileage, chick magnet, garage kept, Andromeda model, very groovy.

    Peace is calling 🙂

  3. Lynn

    I have the jacket and matching pants. You can email me. I may be convinced to part with mine. thx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s